Deep self-trust isn’t something that just happens by accident.

It doesn’t come from an easy life.

It comes from experience. From weathering things we didn't choose. From discovering that we can survive disappointment and still find our way forward. From making choices, learning from them, and becoming more certain of who we are.

I've consciously practiced centering other people for years. It never occurred to me that allowing myself to be centered was a practice, too.

I thought I was rethinking my website. Instead, I uncovered the heart of my work.

Over the past seven years, I've learned that trusting yourself doesn't mean you have to go it alone.

Trust grows in relationship.

None of those decisions happened because they looked courageous from the outside.

They happened because they felt true from the inside.

The point wasn't getting it "right." The point was letting my inner knowing, instead of my inner critic, make the decision.

I went to each of these people seeking something: support, care, guidance, expertise, an outcome. That was the First River.

But inside my body, I could feel something happening in the Second River that didn’t feel right.

And because of power dynamics, conditioning, and a lifetime of messages telling women to be accommodating, convenient, and “not make waves,” I often went along with it.

For me, Mother’s Day has been tender for a long time.

I remember working in a small retail shop in Portland 12 years ago while customers smiled and asked if I was a mom myself. Even then, in my early 30s, I felt the ache in my heart answering no.